Let’s start by getting the cat out of the bag (or the elephant out of the room?) – and throw out the question that is on everyone’s mind. You’ve undoubtedly thought about it if homeschooling has been on your mind for any length of time. If you have dared to share the idea with anyone but your dog, you’ve probably been confronted with it. If you have been homeschooling for a while, I guarantee you have had to come up with an answer already. The question? Is it possible to homeschool without messing up your kids? There. I said it.

The quick answer? Yes!

But I suppose we’ll need more than just a “yes” to make one of the biggest decisions of our child’s life, so let’s talk about it.

There are lots of options when it comes to educating your child. Public school, charter school, and private school resources are plentiful. And these can be great options if they meet your needs. But, for a host of reasons, not all families find these options fit their needs best. Before we get too far on this topic, be sure you have read about creating your WHY here. Knowing WHY you are doing this will help build the confidence and determination you’ll need to keep moving forward.

What are we worried about?

One of the biggest questions homeschoolers are asked is “how will the kids get socialized”? There’s nothing wrong with that question – we all want our kids to be able to interact successfully with others. It’s a skill that will be oh-so important as they grow older and are more reliant on themselves for their needs. And it can seem like the best way to socialize is to do what we grown-ups do – mingle with people in similar age groups and similar walks of life, because we have similar things in common. (Don’t get me wrong, of course we all interact with a range of people, but our “social life” probably consists of people with similar interests).

But there is great benefit in creating an environment where kids can practice interacting with all ages of people, in all walks of life, and with very little in common with themselves. Parents can create these opportunities intentionally, but many of them will happen naturally as children “do life” with their parents, tagging along to the tax preparer, visiting an elderly neighbor, and explaining the problem with the dishwasher to the repairman. Plus, you’ll find you have more time for extracurricular activities and just old-fashioned playing where kids get to be with kids and enjoy those friendships just the same.

Another area of concern for homeschoolers are academic qualifications. Standardized testing, getting into college and getting a job are all questions worth considering. So let’s consider them!

Homeschooled children typically score higher on standardized testing than public school students, including the SAT and ACT. In fact, their scores on state standardized tests are on average 15 to 30 percentile points higher. Homeschooling has become so widely accepted as a quality form of education that many colleges and universities have dedicated admission assistance for homeschoolers, or may even actively recruit them. For example, the University of Southern California has an admissions counselor assigned to homeschooled applicants, and details for applying. Many other colleges offer the same.

And getting a job?

Homeschool graduates generally have great success in finding jobs they enjoy and also provide a good income. Employers look for self-motivated people, articulate, knowledgeable yet ready to learn more. Doesn’t that sound like characteristics a homeschooler would have? In fact, your homeschooler may be better prepared for the workforce because of the unique demands and structure of a homeschool education. These students learn to work independently when Mom has to help a sibling, become self-starters when they need to accomplish an assignment no one (but you) may ever see, and are intimately familiar with figuring out how to learn something new.

Your homeschooler may be better prepared for the workforce because of the unique demands and structure of a homeschool education.

But homeschooling isn’t all about the grades and future job opportunities. Much of the joy comes in sharing daily life together – I mean really sharing it! When you spend most of every day with your children, talking, learning, interacting, even struggling, you are strengthening relationships, discovering who they really are, and creating a bucket full of childhood memories. Can all these things happen without homeschooling? Of course they can. But that extra quality time with your children each day serves to build those bonds even more. And when you face hard times – whether it’s just a math unit, something much harder like the loss of a job, or tragedy like a death of a loved one, those relationships are going to help carry you through as a family.

Things to avoid

I wouldn’t be looking out for you if I didn’t tell you that there ARE things you should avoid in your homeschool. Just because it’s a great option doesn’t mean it won’t take some real work and evaluation on your part. We have learned that children have different learning styles, and what works for one child might not work for another. This applies even within the same family. One child may excel at math and need very little help, but another may struggle and need a completely different approach.

As our child’s teacher we must be careful not to force a round peg into a square hole. It is ok to move a lesson on fractions away from the worksheet and into the kitchen – where you can use fractions to double the ingredient measurements and then divide the cookies evenly among your family members. It’s ok to use a completely different curriculum for writing than the family down the street – because kids are different. If you are keeping your WHY in focus, you will be able to tune out the distractions that pull you away from what is best for your child.

Another key area to avoid is comparing your children with other children. Of course there are some healthy measurements of growth to consider – we do want our children to be roughly on pace with their grade level so they are poised for success in the future. But that can be a pretty wide range – and mastery of a skill is going to be more important than moving through skills on the same pace as everyone else. After all, a big part of homeschooling is tailoring the education to the child, so he or she can move quickly through the easy parts but take the time needed to really master the harder ones. It can be so tempting to look at other homeschoolers and think you better do what they are doing – don’t. You do what’s best for you, and let them do what’s best for them.

A big part of homeschooling is tailoring the education to the child.

You can do this!

So it’s certainly possible to homeschool without messing up your kids! In fact, I would encourage you to believe that you can do them a greater service than you can imagine. We know that –

• Homeschooled kids can get the “socialization” they need through interaction with all sorts of people they encounter in daily life, as well as extracurricular activities.
• Research shows that on average homeschoolers perform as well as or better than public schoolers.
• Colleges, universities, and employers all consider homeschool graduates to be desirable students and employees.
• Families can grow closer and stronger as they learn together and work through day-to-day life together.

Are you starting to get excited? I hope so! Homeschooling is an exciting journey, and you and your kids have a lot to look forward to! If you haven’t already, subscribe on the right to be sure you see my next post on the legal details you’ll need to know. It’s easier than you think!